Tales of Symphonia Misadventure Tales
by Sheepoman
Summary: Mithos is sending our hereos on a pointless adventure to do his dirty work. A weird and unpredictible story, and kind of creepy at times... please R&R.
1. My First Broken Down Fridge Mobile©

Its time for the Tales Of Symphonia misadventure tales!

Hooray!

Now our "heros" were on top of Mt.Fooji because Genis and Raine were in a bit of a feud. Genis claimed that he was a better spell caster than her. Now Raine didn't take too lightly to this and the began their battle…

Now Raine had used up most of her TP when she was at a party earlier. Almost everyone died because they drank so much, so Raine had to use resurrection to heal them.

Genis started the battle and said

Genis: Stlagmiwave!

Now he was a bit tipsy because he drank 10 bottles of Palma Potion.

So his stlagmiwave didn't do anything.

Raine: Ready? First Aid!

Mithos: Stop this nonsense you idiots!

Sheena: Ahhh! Its Mithos! Riding a hippo?

Mithos: Shut up! My Rehiard broke down…

Lloyd: Give me your name and I shall give you mine!

Mithos: You already know my name…Ugh..never mind. I wanted to invite you all over to my castle so we could try and be friends…

Regal: Will there be tomatoes there?

Mithos: Uhhh…yeah, sure.

Regal: Then I'm in!

Genis: Me tooooo (hiccup) stlagmiwave!

Raine: I'm not too sure about this but I'm in if there are tomatoes there!

Lloyd: Well…I guess I'll come…

Everyone else: Okay! Were in!

Mithos: Excellent! MUAHAHAHAHA!

At Mithos' castle

Lloyd: Uhh… Mithos?

Mithos: What is it my lo…I mean soon to become friend?

Lloyd: This looks like Katz village with a sign that says "Mithos' castle."

Mithos: It is indeed my castle! See? Look at all of my angel minions!

Katz: Meow?

Mithos: Anyway, I brought you all here for a very important reason…

Lloyd: What is it?

Mithos: You…

All: Yes?

Mithos: Have to…

All: Yes?

Mithos: Go to…

All: Yes!

Mithos: The Ice temple and give Celsius this note, that proclaims my love for her!

All: --;;

Zelos: But Celsius is MY ultra cool babe!

Sheena: Zelos, everyone is your "ultra cool babe."

Zelos: Oh well, at least I still have my Raine-e-poo!

Genis (now no longer drunk, but with a massive hangover) Fireball!

Zelos: Owwww! Why did you do that?

Genis: Keep away from Raine!

Mithos: Uhhh…anyway…I'll give you the keys to my Ultra cool, gigatastic, fabulisticly cool, broken down fridge mobile!

Regal: TAKEN! I LOVE FRIDGES!

Raine: Fine, but we can only go if you supply us with a Katz for nourishment…

Mithos: Okay, here. (Hands Katz to Raine)

Raine: (cheerfully eats the Katz?) To the temple of ice!

All: Okay!

At the ice temple

Colette: YAY! I get to see those cute ice spiders again!

Genis: CUTE? They can kill you in an instant you know.

Colette: Well I think they are cute!

Genis: (Sigh)

While at the altar, Presea, out of nowhere, starts to burst out laughing…

Genis: What is wrong Presea?

Presea: You fools fell right into my trap! Now prepare to eat syrup!

All: Eat syrup?

Presea: Yes! This syrup will transform you into people covered in syrup!

All: --;;

Genis: It's pancake time! Stalagmite!

Presea: AAAAHGHGHAGHAGHAGAHGAHHGHHGHGHGH! (dies)

All: … --;;

Sheena: Um… I could have just summoned Celsius at Katz Village…

Raine: Oh well. While we're here, we'll summon her. Uh… who were we supposed to summon again?

Regal: It was… um… Luna.

Genis: No! Remember last time? She used light and had a seizure.

Regal: Oh… summon her any way! (laughs hysterically)

Sheena: (rolls her eyes) I call upon the light of heaven! I summon thee! Come, Luna!

Luna: LIGHT! … AHHHHHHHHHHH! (dies)

Sheena: I guess I summoned her one time too many… whatever. I'll summon Celsius now. I call upon the diciple of everlasting ice! I summon thee! Come, Celsius!

Celsius: What do you stupid brats want?

Lloyd: We are here to give you a message from Mithos. (hands her the paper)

The paper reads…

Der Selisus,

How r u? I am totitally good. I jus wanna to tell u taht u r the most coolist babe that was cool, nd I totatiully tink taht u rawk. LOL I luv u hun (heart) du u wanna go 2 the muvies wit me? LOL

Urs 4ever,

Mitos.

Celsius: … kill me.

Well, wasn't that EXCITING? I bet you can't WAIT for chapter 2!

Lloyd: I can wait.

So… review, please! OR DIE.

Colette: MWA HA HA HA HA HAAAAA!


	2. Celsius' Tragic Fate

Chapter 2! HOORAY!

I'm going to start to write it not in script form, okies? Hope you like   
it! Oh yes, about the tomatoes in the first chapter, its an inside joke.  
This chapter might be a little short but I hope you will still like it.

We last left our "heroes" in the ice temple with Celsius about to kill  
herself. What will happen next? Read on! Woooooooo!

"... I can't live like this!" Celsius yelled, as she pointed a gun to her head.

"Wait! You have so much to live for!" Raine yelled but was cut off by Regal.

He yelled "No, you don't! No one likes you! Kill yourself now so you don't  
have to live anymore of your horrible life!"

"You're right!" yelled Celsius, as she pulled the trigger. The bullet passed through her head as easily as one would cut soft butter.

Then Regal let out an evil/humorous laugh, "MUAFWAFWAERATATATATAFASDA!"

Just after that very unusual laugh, Mithos barged into the ice temple, yelling "Celsius! Where for art thou, Celcius, my beauty pageant contestant who was runner, runner, runner, runner up but I still love anyway?"

"She's dead" snickered Sheena while peeling a banana.

"What? WHAT? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I was going  
to give her the flavour of apple sauce she likes the most!"

Mithos then presented a pile of half-eaten worms, a pigs eye, and oreo cookie, and snake  
flavored listerine.

"OoOoOoO! My favorite!" yelled Zelos "Can I have it?"

"Uh… sure. I guess. But I did spit in it a couple of times…" Mithos whispered the last bit.

With his mouth full of the gross stuff Zelos looked up and said, "What was that last part, Mithos?"

"Uh… nothing. Hehehehehe…" Mithos snickered, then menacingly added in, "Anyway, I have another quest for you."

"What is it?" Lloyd asked.

"I need you guys to go and find out why my snack machine won't work!" he  
said, acting very sad.

Raine's eyes filled with tears as she passionately stated, "I remember when my snack machine wouldn't work… I swore not to have that happen to anyone! I'm going to  
help!"

"Good, good…"" Mithos said, with an evil smirk upon his face…

Well I told you it was going to be short. Did you like it? Did you hate it?  
Do you like half eaten monkeys? Well please review, and I will make many more  
chapters.

Lloyd: I still can wait…


	3. Colette the Chocolate Bar

Well here you go! The ever so loved Tales of Symphonia Misadventure Tales part 3! HOORAY!

We left the gang as they were agreeing to help Mithos fix his candy machine.

"Come on, there's not a second to loose!" Raine cried, for she knew the deep pain of having a broken candy machine.

They got onto their Reihards and took to the skies. However, rackling, fizzy sounds started to come out of Regal's.

"What…? What's wrong with- AH!" his Reihard began to smoke and spiral, then he screamed some more as he fell into the sea.

Lloyd shrugged. "Oh well. He's a strong guy. He can just swim to shore!"

From far below, Regal yelled, "You idiots! I can't swim with these cuffs ooooooonnnn…" But no one heard him. Or perhaps they did hear, but just didn't care.

So, after a little while of flying, they finally reached Mithos' "Castle".

"Wait a minute…" Zelos said, looking around, "Where's my cute little Colette?"

Raine shot him an angry glance, "There's no time to be worrying about stupid, unimportant little things! We have to fix that candy machine!"

After getting assistance from a Katz with only one ear, they soon found the location of the sacred machine.

Genis' eyes widened, as he pointed and shrieked, "GOODY, GOODY GOSH! Look! It's COLETTE!"

And yes, there was Colette, inside the candy machine, her corpse all twisted and smelly.

Everyone in the group stared. "No way I'm getting her out! She looks all creepy with her eyes still open…" Lloyd whimpered.

"Not to mention that centipede that's eating her nose…" Zelos squealed, "Actually… I still think she looks pretty cute…"

The group decided to ignore that, as Raine lifted her staff. "You four forgot my amazing healing arts already?"

The ground got all shiny around her, as she said, "Bring back this soul from purgatory! Resurrection!"

Colette gasped from within the candy machine, "I-I'm alive! Thank… oh no… there's no air in here! HELP!" her face began to turn blue.

"Quick! Open the door!" Raine instructed, as Sheena and Lloyd began to play hopscotch.

"Help… help… HE-" But is was too late. Colette was dead once more.

Suddenly, a deep panting was heard. It was… dum dum dum dummm… REGAL!

"I've been swimming for days trying to find you!" he huffed.

Sheena stared blankly. "We've only been here for twenty minutes…"

He walked up to the candy machine, "That's hardly the point! I'm starving… I need something to eat…" he pushed some buttons on the machine.

A metal bar began to twist to let the chocolate bar drop, but sadly, Colette's eye got caught. No matter, though, for the great candy machine just plucked it right out of it's socket. HORRAY!

With a thud, the little treat dropped down into the hole. Regal reached in.

"Hm… why is my chocolate bar so slimey?" he poked it a few times, listening to the squishy, oozing sound. After a little while, he grabbed it and popped it in his mouth.

He glowed as he began to chew, wondering why is was so gooey and thick. But then, he began to appreciate the fine flavor. He put another ten Gald in and got the other eye, as the rest of his comrades stared in disgust.

100,900 Gald, one Colette, and seventeen piles of barf later…

Regal happily hummed as he ate his Reese's Peanut Butter Cup (which was really a Reese's Peanut Butter Toe). He finally felt satisfied. "Ah," he said, "This is the best candy I've ever had!"

"Well…" Sheena said, "now that we got rid of that dead body…" he stared at Regal, who was crying because it was all gone, "It looks like we have another problem. There's no more candy in there!"

Lloyd offered, "Why don't we have Raine make some more?"

"Or…" Genis didn't want Raine in the kitchen, "We could just go to that conveniently placed Katz' Kandy Kook store…"

But, there was one problem. The candy store was IN THE MIDDLE OF A PIT OF QUICKSAND! So they just got Raine to make some more candy.

"Now," Regal said, "Just remember the technique I showed you for stirring the chocolate properly…"

Raine wasn't paying attention, though, because she was too busy looking at a giant, egg-tasticaly big strawberry, which was shaped like a ruin… I guess.

So, everyone left Raine alone in the kitchen, afraid that she may accidentally set them on FIRE!

Loud banging, screaming, yelling, crashing, thumping, and chewing sounds emerged from the depths of the fiery kitchen.

"Oh no… is that supposed to be all black like that? I know… Light! PHOTON!" Then came the sound of a dying chicken.

Sheena demanded, "Who's idea was it to leave her alone in there? Who knows what horrible monstrosities she'll create?"

Llyod smiled, 'We left her alone in there because… if she was in here she'd prevent us from having the GREATEST PARTY OF ALL TIME!"

So, everyone got naked, jumped on the chandelier, and began to PAR-TAY!

Or… maybe they just put on stupid hats and played musical chairs to the Arthur theme song.

A little while later, Raine emerged from the depths of the now not so fiery kitchen with a tray in her hands.

"Its done!" she said with full confidence.

"Wow...Its purple?" Lloyd said with a confused expression on his face.

"Well! Don't be shy! Have a taste! I made it extra light! (Har Har Har)" Raine said with a smile.

And so they deposited yon candy into yon candy machine.

"Okay, its all back in," Lloyd huffed, exhausted from the difficult task of putting candy into a thing.

Just then, Mithos entered. "So," he began, "Is my candy machine fixed yet?" he examined it, and it seemed he approved of their 'good' job. "What was wrong with it anyway?" he inquired.

"Uh… Colette's corpse was blocking it," Sheena answered.

Regal smiled, "And a fine corpse it was," he patted his stomach.

Mithos glared, "Hey! I was going to eat her… I forgot I had put it there…" he noticed everyone was backing away from him, then added, "I mean… um… mua ha ha ha… ha…? I was going to give her back! I swear!"

So you think our heroes are free? Not just yet! For Mithos had yet another excruciating quest.

"I need you…" Mithos leered, "to baby-sit my pet eagle-snake-rabbit-sloth-something else…I can't remember…"

Then Zelos said with a mouth full of decomposing carrot sticks "Here we go again… I like it."

Well, that was the amazing chapter I promised you….Hope you liked it, and the next one will be worse I assure you! MUA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Please review or Regal will eat you….

Regal: You know it!


	4. The great dwarven love affair

There was much excitement going on with our heroes, as you know. But I bet you're wondering what was Dirk doing all this time.

And if you weren't wondering that… DIE! You have to hear it anyway.

Dirk was in the kitchen, happily stirring a bowl of frosting.

"Doo doo doo doo…ah'm maekin' some frrrrostin' fer mah love…" he hummed. He began to rummage through the trash bin, where he found some food coloring.

He added it into the bowl, mixing and stirring quite merrily.

Suddenly, he heard a gruff voice from the top of the stairs mumble, "Dirk… what time is it?"

"Ach, ya sure did drrrrrrrink a wee bit too much last nigh', bu' don't worry, I made me special hangover medicine fer ya, love." Dirk replied, handing the man a cup full of birdseed, tangerines, mineral soap, bee's wax, and granite tiles all mushed together.

He took the cup and said, "Thank you, sugar." He winced at the taste as he drank it down. "Did I do anything embarrassing at that party last night?"

Dirk sighed, and answered, "Well, ya did rrrrrun around screamin' aboot french people, an' ya told Yuan aboot the time tha' ye clogged his toilet with manatee barf…"

The man looked down, "I see… I trust that you brought me home before I did anything too extreme, Dirk?"

Dirk looked down as well, "Well, ah managed to get ya home beforrrrrre ya stabbed yerself for the third time… bu' don't worry, ah stopped the internal bleedin'."

Smiling, the man walked over to Dirk and planted a kiss on his… um… eye. "You're always there for me, Dirky."

"Ach, ya know ah love ye… Kratos."

DUM DUM DUM!

Dirk put the bowl down on the table. "Weel, I supoose it's aboot time ta frrrrrrost the cupcakes ah made…"

And so, the two happily frosting pink cupcakes together, giggling like deranged schoolgirls.

A little while later, Dirk started to seem a bit anxious, and Kratos noticed.

"What's wrong, lover? Did you eat too many cupcakes?" Kratos asked.

The dwarf sighed, "No," he said, "Ah jus' need ta… um… go an' get some more groceries… if Lloyd comes to visit, I want ta make his favorite rrrrrrrrrrrabbit spinach pie. Could ah borrow yer Rehiard?"

_How very suspicious…_ Kratos thought. But, he trusted his one-true love, so he agreed.

After about three hours, Dirk had not returned. Kratos was becoming worried, so he decided to check his "Dirk-Tracker 3000 ©" to see where he had went.

"Hmm… it seems he is in Tethe'alla…" he mummbled to himself. "GASP! What if he was attacked by a baby-eating flower machine? I must rescue him!"

So, he left the humble little house (piece of crap shack that Dirk probably built when he was drunk) and took out his stupid wings, ready to FLY TO THE RESCUE!

He was attacked by flying cherry-scented hotpants and a flying tail-cutter-offer salesmen, but he thwarted them all with his FIRE BWOLL attack!

Looking at his wrist, he noted that his Dirk-Tracker 3000 © said that his life-partner was in a little house just below.

"AHHHHHH! DIRK, I WILL SAVE YYYOOOOUUU!" He flew down in front of the house, and kicked open the door.

"Whare are you, honey? I've come to rescue you from the baby-eating flower machine!" he screamed. There was only silence, until a young woman came up to him.

"WELCOME. I AM TABATHA. THE MASTER IS WORKING ON A SPECIAL PROJECT WITH HIS FRIEND MISTER DIRK. WON'T YOU COME INSIDE FOR SOME HERBAL TEA AND GHETTO DANCING COOKIES? WHAT IS YOU'RE NAME, SIR?" she said in a robotish voice.

Kratos stared. "Oh… my name is Kratos…" he said, then looked deeply wounded,

"Dirk…" he began, "… Dirk… lied to me…" his eyes filled with tears. But since he hadn't cried in 3,289 years, they BURNED HIS SKIN! He screamed and cried and yelled, in sorrow… and searing pain.

"What's all this racket about, Tabatha! We're you mooning the neighbours again?" came a deep, scary voice.

The woman shook her head, "NO, MASTER ALTESSA. A MAN CAME HERE TO SEE MISTER DIRK, AND I WAS SIMPLY INVITING HIM IN FOR HERBAL TEA AND GHETTO DANCING COOKIES."

The dwarf yelled, "Tabatha! You know I ate all those last night!"

Tabatha nodded. "I SEE. MR. KRATOS, WOULD YOU LIKE SOME BALLROOM DANCING COOKINES INSTEAD? THEY ARE FULL OF BALLROOM GOODNESS AND CHALK-U-LAR FLAVOUR."

Kratos, his face covered in burning tears screamed, "NO! I've come to find my lover! But I suppose an angel wasn't good anough for him… and he had to run off with some other dwarf!"

Altessa sneered, "Ah, so you're that guy Dirk is always talking about. Well, that's too bad! He's all mine now! I won't let you have him!"

"Well… YOU SMELL LIKE CAT PEE!" Kratos screamed!

Taken aback by that comment… which was very true… Altessa shrieked, "I won't take that from no goody-goody angel! Tabatha! ATTACK!"

The woman turned to him. "BUT MA… MA… MA… MA… MA… MA… MAS… MA… MA… MA… MA… MA… MAST… MA… MA… MA… MAS… MA… MA… MA… MA… MA… MA… MA… MA… MA… MA… MAST… MA… MA… MA… MA… MA… MA… MAS… MA… MA… MAST… MA… MAST… MA… MA… MA… MA… MA… MA… MA… MA… MA… MA… MA… MAS… MAS… MA… MA… MAST… MA… MA… MA… MA… MA… MA… MA… MA… MA… MA… MA… MA… MA… MA… MA-"

Altessa smacked himself in the head. "All right! Fine! I'll deal with him! You go get me some of those Interpretive Dance Cookies for when I'm finished."

She turned to go down into the kitchen. "YES MASTER."

The dwarf turned to Kratos and smiled evily. "Let's see," he said, "How you handle my awsome fighting skills!" He grabbed a huge hammer from the unbrella-holder. "I constucted this myself, with the glow worms and butterfly wings!"

Kratos stared blankly, and said, "…"

"Dirk is mine! DIE!" Altessa, using all of his might, thrust his mighty hammer into Kratos… who seemed un-fazed.

The man smirked as he looked at the now very-shocked Altessa. "You think that you stand against the mighty powers of the angels? Pathetic… now-"

"WAIT!" Altessa screamed, "I… um… am ALSO and angel! I was just fooling you with this clever disguise!"

He then ran out of the room. A few minutes later, he came back in with a very poorly made pair of cardboard wings.

"Ah ha ha… ha ha HA HA ha… now we shall have an angel battle to the DEATH, and the winner gets Dirk! Now, watch in awe as I DESTROY YOU!" he screamed.

"Prepare to die!" Kratos yelled. He took out his wings and rose into the air, taking his sword from it's sheath.

Altessa, too, rose into the air… with a little help from Tabatha, who was hoisting him up by a rope tied around his stomach.

Kratos lunged forth, aiming his sword at Altessa's head. The dwa… angel, however, ducked, and Kratos hit the rope instead.

"AHH! He shrieked, at the string unfurled. He was now only hanging by a thread. "Help me, Dirk!"

But Dirk was busy eating Ballet Dacing Cookies.

"No.. noo… noooooooo! NOOOOOO! AHHHH!" The delicate string broke, and he fell.

"AHHHH. MASTER. LOOK OUT FOR-"

_BLAM!_

When he hit the cold, hard ground below, he died instantly … and also squashed Tabatha along the way.

"Kratos… love… ah'm sorry ah didn't tell ya… bu' I know how jelous ye can get. Ya know ah never loved him… we were asked to do a special project for the King of Tethe'alla." Dirk said. He then showed Kratos the unfinished statue of a giant mouse being eaten alive by a dog with only have a face.

They stared at eachother in silence for a while.

"Ah…" Dirk began, "I… also made this fer ye…" he handed Kratos a small locket.

On one side was a picture of both of them together, holding each other and kissing, and on the other was a picture of a ring worm getting a gastrointestinal stomach operation.

Kratos' eyes became wet again. He took Dirk's hand and they hugged tightly.

"So…" the man said, "When are we going to tell Lloyd about… us?"

Dirk smiled, "Ach, all in good time… I love ya, ye big lummox."

Kratos smiled as well. "I love you, too…"

The hugged each other tighter.

So tight, in fact, that they STRANGLED EACH OTHER AND DIED! BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

I'm sorry you had to read that…my friend kind of wrote most of it and she was sad when I made her kill Tabatha…Hehe..Hope you weren't too scared…I'll get back on track next time I hope…


	5. The new species of animal

I know I haven't updated in a while, but hope you like chapter 5!

On the last episode of DRAGON BALL Z!

So you think our heroes are free? Not just yet! For Mithos had yet another excruciating quest.

"I need you…" Mithos leered, "to baby-sit my pet eagle-snake-rabbit-sloth-something else…I can't remember…"

Then Zelos said with a mouth full of decomposing carrot sticks "Here we go again… I like it."

So… here we go.

"Eagle-snake-rabbit-sloth-something else?" exclaimed Raine, "Marvelous! An endangered species to study!" her eyes got all blue and scary.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Mithos fell to the ground in terror, "DON'T HURT MR. FUSSYRIBBONS!"

Everyone just stared... and Sheena's leg exploded. Well, not really.

Mithos shot the group an evil glare of death and mustardy-pain, "If you even DARE to touch Mr. Fussyribbons… I'll KILL YOU!"

Lloyd puzzled for a moment, "Well, how are we supposed to baby-sit him if we can't touch him?"

"Hmmm… good point. Well… um… shut up. I wuv my Fuusy-baby-poopie-pie-snuggle-huggle-babykins, so just be gentle. OR I'LL RIP YOUR EYES OUT OF YOUR KNEECAPS!" he then disappeared in a most mysterious and taxi…cal manner.

And so, our heros, minus two, set off towards Mithos' grand old castle… or, Katz village

"In this note Mithos left us," said a caterpillar, "It says he keeps Mr. Fussyribbons in his sleeping quarters next to- BLLAAAAAAH!"

Genis had squished his head in between his toes before he could finish. "Stupid caterpillar! YOU TOOK MY SOAP!"

"Genis, what are you talking about? Why did you kill that caterpillar?" Raine smacked her brother in the nose.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! MY NOSHH! MY NOSSHSSHSHSS! AAAAAAAAAHAAAAOOOOOWWWW!" blood spurted out of him, flying and gushing over Zelos.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" he screamed.

Raine hit Genis again. "Now look what you've done, idiot!" Smack. Smack. Smack. GARBAGE CAN'D!

"I'm sorry Raine! I will write you an apology letter in my blood…"

"No, uh, that's okay. I will just revive the caterpillar with my SUPER MAGIC SUPER MAGIC SPELLS!" Raine yelled.

"Resurrection!" She yelled, but the spell went horribly wrong, and the poor caterpillar TURNED INTO A GIANT MONSTER!

"Ahhhh!" Yelled the group.

"Quickly! Through the door! No time for Sheena! Leave her here, she can take care of the giant caterpillar who is really strong and will probably kill her and torture her and eat her!" Raine yelled.

The group (except for Sheena, who was tied to a chair by Genis) ran out of the house and went to an amusement park and rode on all the rides…

"Wow! That was fun!" Regal said.

"I feel like I am forgetting something…" Lloyd thought. 

Back at Mithos' castle

"AHHHHH!" shrieked Zelos, very femininely, "I think it is Mithos' pet!"

There, lying on the floor, was a rotten potato labeled "Mr. Fussyribbons."

"So, the pet was…ugh, a rotten potato?" Raine said, very confused.

Now the group had a dilemma, what would they tell Mithos?

"We can just buy him a big new sack of potatos! Do you think he will like that?" Asked Regal.

"Well, anyway, before we do anything, I'M STARVING!" Lloyd yelled.

"And it is my turn to make dinner" Raine said happily!

A few HOURS later, Raine came out of the kitchen, holding a big pot of…stuff. Everyone took a spoon, and plugged their noses, and plunged into the…Uh…Stew? And to their surprise…it was good?

"What did you put in this lovely stew my Raine-e-poo?" Asked Zelos.

"Well, you know, this and that, and this potato I found on the floor, it was all mushy, so I thought it would be ripe!"

Everyone started to puke up all the stew…: )

"Well, we better be off to tell Mithos about his Mr. Fussyribbons." Said Regal, picking up the barf, and putting it in a jan that was labeled "Fairy dust"

And as the group walked out of the "castle" they didn't even notice Sheena's corpse laying on the floor, while EACH ONE OF THEM waked over it. Regal was the last one, and he stepped on her head, and squished it like a watermelon, and as her eyes drifted away on the floor in the river of blood, no one thought that it could become a rat's dinner…. : )

Well, did ya like it? Did you love it? Did you hate it? Do you like cherries? Well, hope you did like it, and I WILL UPDATE AGAIN! Please review!


	6. Ghostbusters to the rescue!

Hehe, sorry I haven't written for a while I have been so NOT busy and I don't know, I didn't feel like writing. So Here's chapter 6! Hope you like. Kratos as a ghost? Maybe : )

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So the gang was walking down the road (- Colette, Sheena, Presea, and anyone else I killed) and Regal noticed a little present in the middle of the road.

"I WANT PRESENTS!" Regal yelled pushing Zelos out of the way.

"Hey watch where you are going" He exclaimed.

"Well, its your fault for being in the way of my present!"

"Wait Regal!" Genis yelled, "How do you know that the present is for you?"

"It has my name on it you dyslexic basilisk!" Regal screamed.

"Let me look!" Yelled Lloyd.

"NO I AM THE BEST PERSON HERE SO I GET TO LOOK" Raine yelled.

Well, since everyone is scared of Raine, they handed over the present. On closer inspection of the tag hanging from the present, it read "Dirk"

"Hey! That's my dad's name! HAHA Funny…" Lloyd said really stupidly.

"WELL DUH!" Raine screamed while knocking Lloyd to the ground.

Raine took out her staff and started to beat him with it. Then she cast Photon, and such.

"Owwww, you broke all 57 of my ribs!" Lloyd said as he lied there writhing in pain.

"Well, I guess we will take it to Dirk?" Genis asked.

So the gang got up onto the Rehiards (sorry if I spelled it wrong) and flew to Dirk's house.

As they were flying over Katz village, they heard a big scream, and went to investigate. They arrived at Mithos' "Castle" .

As they approached Mithos they noticed like a billion candy wrappers everywhere. Then….the noticed Mithos.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Zelos screamed, "A MONSTER!"

But a monster it was not. It was Mithos, who now weighed 783 pounds.

"Eww….You are really gross looking" Genis said.

"What happened to you?" Lloyd asked.

"Well, when I heard that Kratos died, I was so sad, I ate and ate and ate and ate and ate. But I don't know how this could happen! I evened out 50 pounds of chocolate a day with 6 carrots!

They all stared blankly at him.

"Well, him and I were in love" Mithos said.

Mithos then noticed the package that Raine was carrying.

"Hey you piece of fineness, you hand me that package and I'll make it worth your while." Mithos said while trying to seduce Raine.

"HELP ME! HELP ME! MY EYES ARE BLEEDING!" Zelos screamed in agony.

Raine was so disgusted that she threw the package at him and it was just sucked in by all the fat.

"Thanks sugar (heart)" Mithos said.

He then pulled the present from "The Void" and read the tag.

"….Dirk…….." Mithos said calmly, "I HATE THAT PINAPPLE T-SHIRT WEARING MANITEE FREAK!"

Mithos opened the package, and everything went dark. Then a giant glow thing came out of the box. IT WAS THE GHOST OF KRATOS! Dun dun dun……

"WhY hAvE yOu, SoMeOnE oThEr ThAn DiRk OpEn ThIs PaCkAgE?" Ghost Kratos yelled.

"Um, well, I wanted to put a pie in it and when he opened the box, it would fling out and hit him!" Mithos explained.

"wElL…." Kratos started.

Then a mysterious song started to play….IT WAS THE GHOST BUSTERS THEME SONG! Ahh!

"Scuse me sir, but I'm going to have to get rid of this ghost here." Said the Ghostbusters guy.

He then started to suck Kratos up in his crazy contraption.

"Nooooo!" Mithos yelled.

"NoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo" Kratos also yelled.

Then in a blink of an eye, he was gone.

"Yay! We caught another ghost!" They yelled, "now we can eat!"

The Ghostbusters then proceeded to squeeze out Kratos from the machine, and spread him on toast and babies. They then all ate him…….J

"AHHAHAHAHAHAHA" Raine started to laugh hysterically.

"Mithos is now all alone again!" Lloyd yelled"

"But Lloyd, that means he will have to find a new lover!" Genis explained, "But how can you do it when you are 783 pounds?"

"Well, actually, during that whole ordeal, I made a recipe that consisted of 47 pounds of butter, and 563 eggs, and 9000 bars of chocolate, mix in pan smothered in butter, and eat! I call it "Butter Butter". So actually I have gained 300 more pounds. So now I am 1083 pounds."

"Ohhhhh." Zelos screamed as he fainted and fell INTO A PIT OF RAVENOUS DODO'S. He was eaten alive. But no on seemed to notice…..

"Not that I am this heavy, I will need you all to find me a date!" Mithos said, "That will be your next task."

Everyone groaned and Zelos moaned.

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Well, hope you liked it!


	7. The many faces of Tabatha

Hurray for Chapter 7! Hope you all like it.

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If you are just joining us, Mithos wanted the "gang" to go and find him a date. But this wouldn't be an easy task, since he was now 1083 pounds.

They all set off on their rehiards and flew all over Sylvarant and Tethe'alla to try and find Mithos a date.

"Hey! I've got an idea!" Genis yelled.

"What is it then? HUH? TELLLLL USSSSSSS" Lloyd yelled in agony.

"Well, since Altessa made that ugly piece of crap doll Tabatha, maybe he can make us another doll!" Genis said.

"Well, I suppose it is not a bad idea," Raine stated, "But I have a better idea"

"I'm so sure it is better than my idea." Genis started to get upset.

"Well, why don't we go to Altessa's house, and make him make another doll like Tabatha for us! Then we get ice cream." Raine explained.

"I say we go with Raine's idea! Ice cream is included1" Regal said.

"Aw…" Genis sighed.

They then arrived at Altessa's house, and walked in. But no Altessa, and no Tabatha.

"HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MONKEY PANTS!" Yelled an unfamiliar voice.

"Um….Hello? Who's here? Genis asked.

"I am Altessa's son, Vanessa. Said Vanessa.

"Well, we need to talk to Altessa so he can make us a doll date for someone." Lloyd explained.

"Well, Altessa died…….HAHAHAHA I HATED HIM ANYWAYS! He always fed my dinner to a pack of ravenous lemurs." Vanessa yelled.

"Well, do you have the same skills as your daddy little boy?" Regal said in a baby voice.

"Don't talk to me like that! I am a whole 8 years old." Vanessa said while holding up 7 fingers.

"Um…well, is it possible for you to make some automated dolls to date someone we know" Raine explained.

"Um, okay, I suppose I could help you, but you must find me….some dirt." Vanessa said.

"Um, your house is made of dirt stupid." Genis explained.

"Well then I must get started," Vanessa said, "SO GET OUT!11111" Vanessa yelled.

3 DAYS LATER!

"Welcome! I have made a series of dolls that you can choose some.

("He will probably need all of them just so they can hug him") Genis thought.

Vanessa then brought out 6 dolls.

"Their names are: Madatha, Gladatha, Plaidatha, Stabatha, Blabatha, and Judy." Vanessa said.

"Judy?" Genis asked, "Couldn't you have made a more original name?"

"Well, no she is the plain one. The one no one likes" Vanessa explained.

"Well then why did you waste the time making her?" Regal asked.

"I DON'T KNOW. I was dropped on my head many times you know." Vanessa yelled.

"Well, lets shove them in a bag and bring them to Mithos." Raine said.

"WAIT! Can you um…just…..," Vanessa stuttered, "Leave the guy with the blue hair behind"

"AHHHHHH!" Regal yelled, "Lets get the hell outta here!"

So with that everyone ran out of the piece of crap shack.

"I just wanted to know if he wanted to look at my rubber duck collection…." Vanessa said to himself.

AT MITHOS' CASTLE oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"Ohhh lovely hunnies!" Mithos exclaimed.

"You get to choose! We will line them up and they will tell you about themselves" Lloyd explained.

" I am Gladatha! I love things! Things are pretty, so are pokémon, I wish they were real. IF THEY WERE I WOULD WANT A….ummm… Spinarak because they are cute little buggles and the are so pretty and happy" Gladatha rambled.

"Uhh…too happy" Mithos said while pulling a lever.

A hole opened underneath Gladatha and she fell into it and….died I guess.

"I'M MADATHA I HATE A LOT OF STUFF LIKE YOU AND YOUR UGLY STUPID FACE WITH UGLY BARNICLES AND POOP!" Madatha yelled.

"Um…." Mithos said.

The hole opened again. She died too, even though they are robots.

"Hi, I'm Blabatha, I tell secrets about everyone! Like Regal, he collects rubber ducks! Raine, and likes to clip her toe nails and stick them up Genis' nose when he is asleep! Lloyd likes to dig up dead bodies and fill up their organs and fill them with vanilla pudding. Genis loves to steal Lloyd's underwear and model it for his dolls!" Blabatha blabbed.

"Hm…Maybe I will keep you for later." Mithos gestured her to sit beside him.

"I'm Stabatha! I like TO STAB PEOPLE' She yelled.

Stabatha then ran into the castle and stabbed a bunch of maids and butlers.

"Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Kay…" Everyone said.

"I'm Plaidatha! Whatever I touch turns to plaid!" She explained.

She then touched Regal and his skin turned to an ugly plaid pattern.

"AHHHH MY BEAUTIFUL MOISTURIZED SKIN!" Regal yelled in agony.

The hole opened again, and the poor 30 minute old doll fell in and died.

"Hi, I'm Judy and I…" Judy started and then the hole opened again, and the ugly doll plummeted to her death.

"ARGH! None of them were good enough!" Mithos yelled.

"AHHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA" Yelled some random person.

A farmer came out of the shadows with his shotgun.

"Don't you shoot me! I will roll on you!" Mithos threatened.

The farmer proceeded to shoot Mithos.

"Hey you guys! Heal me! Raine!" Mithos yelled.

But Raine was too busy, because she was listening to "You are a pirate" by lazytown.

The farmer then ran off into the shadows and roasted marshmallows

"YAY WE ARE FREE FROM THE CURSE OF MITHOS!" The whole gang yelled.

Well…Hope you liked it : )

The next chapter MIGHT be the last chapter, I'm not sure.


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